Why am I always fighting myself? What am I even fighting for? I was fighting to graduate from high school. I didn't want to be a loser high school drop-out. Now I'm fighting college. I think the only reason I'm here is because it's the thing to do. I want to get an education. And I want to do something with my life, but when I don't know what to do with it I have little to no motivation. I think maybe I'm just wasting money. I might be a college drop-out soon, at least for a while. It scares me to think of doing something other than school, but I'm starting to feel that's what I should do. I should find a job and get some independence. I should go on a journey of self-discovery or something. Life would be a whole lot less difficult if I could just get the whole figuring-myself-out thing finished and out of the way.
I'll probably change my mind tomorrow or the next day, but right now there's no reason for me to be in college. It's not helping me understand life any better. I'm just as stuck as I was in high school. I'm going through the same situations without being able to change the outcomes or my behavior. School has always been a huge priority in my life. Maybe I'm never going to master it and maybe that doesn't matter. Maybe I should discover life outside of school. Not just socially, but relating to work and learning without school. I want to travel the world. That sounds cliche to me, but I do want that. I'm starting to wonder why I'm limiting myself with school. Lots of people find opportunities in school, but I've trained myself into the system so much that I can't think outside the box at all.
The end.