Shoes! Glorious Shoes! (or rather, the lack thereof)

Shoes are great, don't get me wrong. I love shoes. Shoes can be really cute, they protect my feet, and, did I mention?, they can be completely adorable. But have you ever know, I'm sure you have, the insatiable pleasure of taking them off?! So wonderful, even, especially!, when I haven't noticed them all day. They're not noticeably uncomfortable, but finally I come home and slip them off, flipping them into my closet, and that beautiful release manifests, and a smile sneaks into my lips, and I laugh at the sheer, unexpected glory! Ahhhh...

You put the lime in the coconut....

So yesterday my roommates and I went to Cafe Rio where I splurged with money that is not mine (sorry Mom :D at least I didn't buy that dress as well right?) and bought a heavenly and delectable pork barbacoa salad with all the fixings and that mouth-watering green dressing and the guacamole and strips of tortilla chip things and... anyway. I sat down with this feast of fabulous and dug in with all the passion of a college student who usually eats top ramen and mac'n'cheese. A few minutes with this glory and I see Kathryn squeeze the juice of her lime onto her equally amazing salad. We both distinctly remember seeing my salad receive a lime, but I can't find it. Angie, who put our tray away, also remembers distinctly that the lime did not fall onto said tray. It's a small lime and it blends in with the salad so I assume I will find it eventually as my salad disappears much too quickly. I get closer and closer to and finally reach the end of the joy, and still no lime shows up. We contemplated the possibility of my having eaten it without noticing... We decided that wasn't likely... I was baffled. I am baffled. Oh! the intriguing mysteries of the Cafe Rio salad!

Curse Downton Abbey!

I hate cliffhangers!!!! grrr... I love Anna and Mr. Bates. They're so perfect. What am I gonna do with a cliffhanger?!

Why am I always fighting myself? What am I even fighting for? I was fighting to graduate from high school. I didn't want to be a loser high school drop-out. Now I'm fighting college. I think the only reason I'm here is because it's the thing to do. I want to get an education. And I want to do something with my life, but when I don't know what to do with it I have little to no motivation. I think maybe I'm just wasting money. I might be a college drop-out soon, at least for a while. It scares me to think of doing something other than school, but I'm starting to feel that's what I should do. I should find a job and get some independence. I should go on a journey of self-discovery or something. Life would be a whole lot less difficult if I could just get the whole figuring-myself-out thing finished and out of the way.
I'll probably change my mind tomorrow or the next day, but right now there's no reason for me to be in college. It's not helping me understand life any better. I'm just as stuck as I was in high school. I'm going through the same situations without being able to change the outcomes or my behavior. School has always been a huge priority in my life. Maybe I'm never going to master it and maybe that doesn't matter. Maybe I should discover life outside of school. Not just socially, but relating to work and learning without school. I want to travel the world. That sounds cliche to me, but I do want that. I'm starting to wonder why I'm limiting myself with school. Lots of people find opportunities in school, but I've trained myself into the system so much that I can't think outside the box at all.
The end.